I've been so overwhelmed lately with the processes involved in caring for my girl (though not actually caring for her, or her). The whole applying for MediCal, IHSS, Regional Center, IEP etc. business just really gets me down.
But reminding myself that this is my path, my destiny or my fate and to approach it all with purpose helps me to channel the fierceness I sometimes feel. I always know my purpose with her- to let her know she is loved and safe and beautiful. But is there a larger purpose? I guess the one I fall back on for inspiration is this (a good one for a staunch agnostic):
I expect to pass through this life but once.
If, therefore there can be any kindness I can show or any good thing I can do
for any fellow being let me do it now...
Let me not defer it, or neglect it,
For I shall not pass this way again.
Stephen Grellet (Etienne de Grellet du Mabillier)
And it reminds me of all the inspiring people who flagged the trail, then graded the track, laid the gravel and left room for us to pave the road. Thanks to all those families and parents who found a purpose in this fate and worked toward IDEA, ADA and the other small policies and works that make our lives better.
Moving on with a renewed sense of purpose, and a more open heart, at least today.